Easter & Baptism Part II: Annelise's Testimony

Annelise Marie’s Baptism Choice

I first invited Jesus into my heart when I was eight. I remember, eyes tightly shut, white knuckles clasped in prayer, repeating that I knew that Jesus died on the Cross for my sins and that through a relationship with him, I would experience new life. Then, innocently, I would look up at the heavens and wait for the lighting bolts to come flying into my life and a booming voice to tell me what to do. As this did not happen I assumed that I must not have been doing it "right" or that I wasn't "good" enough yet.

As time went on I continued to pray that prayer and opened myself up to the true meaning behind the words. By the time I was a young adult I had committed this to my heart and experienced a growing passion and interest in living a Christ led life. This past Christmas I was overwhelmed with the message about a God shaped hole in my life. Immediately that resonated with me and I saw how I had shoved just about every worldly achievement or material into that hole and always came up empty.

Being fairly self aware, I noticed this quiet ache in the very pit of my being that came on at the most surprising times. I would be enjoying time with friends and family or working toward a future that I thought would fulfill me and there it was again. This Christmas I knew that ache was Jesus knocking on the walls I'd built in my heart offering to fulfill my life with his purpose.

Not surprisingly every last one of my insecurities came up and over powered the quiet knock. I was afraid of what other people would think if I even checked the little box on the worship guide and put it in the offering bucket. I was afraid that people, especially my loving Christ filled family, would think, just like when I was eight, that I wasn't doing it "right" I wasn't "good" enough yet. I knew I'd continue to make mistakes and I resigned myself to "oh well you can make that choice once your done making mistakes". I realized that thought process made no sense but its amazing how persuasive insecurities can be.

That night I stayed up for hours trying to figure out why I couldn't just check the stinking box and put the paper in the bucket!  I began drafting a letter to the church and during the course of working through that letter, I wrote and rewrote my letter until it said I'm ready to be baptized in front of my church and family.  This time when I asked Jesus into my heart it started with I am not going to do everything right but I know YOU already did everything right for me. I just want to put my trust and faith and life in your hands and do my best to live for you everyday for the rest of my life.

This time I didn't wait for fireworks or my life to flip upside down overnight. I just wholly trusted that He would  be there with me. Amazingly once I gave up on the action figure hero of Jesus and just focused on loving and trusting upward, my life truly has been transformed.  I have been given strength and direction and support from every tool in His toolbox. Pain and guilt I hadn't even realize was still cutting me has  now been healed. I have been empowered to make the right choices in my life and am amazed daily as I step back and watch His plan for me unfold.

I am going to be baptized in front of my church and family, and what would have once seemed like an enormous pressure, now feels like an enormous gift and honor. I want to thank each of you for allowing me to enjoy and be encouraged by your use of God's gifts and unique talents that have been given to you. Nothing is more inspiring or humbling. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Written by: Annelise Manns