Prayer- Am I yearning for Him, or do I just need to feel better about myself?

Most believers want a more consistent, deeper prayer life.  Many look for a perfect formula...how should we pray, how long, how often, is morning the best time of day?  I've asked all of these questions, and many more. 

I just began reading Philip Yancey's book, "Prayer - Does It Make Any Difference?"  He writes, "I write about prayer as a pilgrim, not an expert.  I have the same questions that occur to almost everyone at some point.  Is God listening?  Why should God care about me?  If God knows everything, what's the point of prayer?  Why do answers to prayer seem so inconsistent, even capricious?  Does a person with many praying friends stand a better chance of physical healing than one who also has cancer but with only a few people praying for her?  Why does God sometimes seem close and sometimes faraway?  Does prayer change God or change me?" 

As I seek to know God, to understand His heart, and to love Him with all of my heart, I am continually amazed that He gives us the privilege and gift of prayer.  I love His character - how He wants us to come to Him, but He does not tell us how often.  He wants us - it's about relationship.  Jesus prayed.  Jesus taught us how to pray (Matthew 6:9-13.)  He also gave a stern warning to NOT be like the hypocrites, those who love to pray publicly (Matthew 6:5-8.)  

I do not want my prayer life to be a checklist - "got that done, now off to the next thing."  Neither does God, and He sees my heart.  Am I yearning for Him, or do I just need to feel better about myself?  Do I really believe that He hears me, more importantly, am I listening with my ears and heart? 

I do not believe that quiet times of prayer with our Creator should be out of guilt - that is not of God.  However, as a mother of three young children, sometimes I'm doing good just to get my teeth brushed in the mornings!  Yet growing in anything - closer to our spouse, exercise, relationships, education - all require discipline.  Yancey writes, "...I have come to see prayer as a privilege, not a duty.  Like all good things, prayer requires some discipline.  Yet I believe that life with God should seem more like friendship than duty.  Prayer includes moments of ecstasy and also dullness, mindless distraction and acute concentration, flashes of joy and bouts of irritation.  In other words, prayer has features in common with all relationships that matter."

I recently read an excerpt from an interview that Greta Van Susteran had with Billy Graham on December 20, 2010.  He was 92 years old - here's the question and his answer:

VAN SUSTERAN: If you were to do things over again, would you do it differently?

GRAHAM: Yes. I would study more. I would pray more, travel less, take less speaking engagements. I took too many of them in too many places around the world. If I had it to do over again, I'd spend more time in meditation and prayer and just telling the Lord how much I love him and adore him and looking forward the time we're going to spend together for eternity.

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/on-the-record/transcript/rev-billy-graham-reflects-his-life-ministry-and-special-relationship-bush-family#ixzz1NrUrDDN7

And, just today I read Beth Moore's latest blog entry...what was it on????  Prayer, of course.  God knows He has to hit me upside the head most of the time!!

http://blog.lproof.org/2011/05/so-how-do-you-balance-your-prayer-life.html

On this journey of faith, I have been very specific with God in my prayers that I want to know and experience Him and His plans for my life to the fullest extent possible this side of heaven.  I certainly did not come up with those prayers on my own...I know myself too well...anything good that comes out of me is from the Lord.  I know that with every ounce of my being because my heart is deceptive above all things and so prone to wander.  Soooooo...if God has changed me in such a way that I desire to know Him more, then one of the most important aspects of this journey is my prayer life. 

 

 

Highlights from our visit with Pa-pa & De-de!

Last week we had a wonderful visit with Pa-pa & De-de.  They stayed with us for 6 days...we kept them busy!!!  Between baseball season for the boys and Emily Ann's ballet recital, there was not much time for relaxation.

Highlights from our visit...

Thursday we drove over to Vollmer Farms to pick fresh strawberries and collards.  Pa-pa cooks the best collards ever!  YUMMY!

On Friday, Emily Ann and I took De-de for lunch and tea at the Olde English Tea Room in downtown Wake Forest.  Emily Ann loved dressing up with the gloves and pearls!

Drew played tee-ball Friday evening...he LOVES playing ball!

Emily Ann's first ballet recital was such a joy!

Jake played ball Saturday afternoon - it was supposed to be a double header, however, the second game was rained out...YAY, we could relax a little!!

On Sunday, we worshipped together at North Wake followed by lunch at the Fork's Restaurant.

Pa-pa & De-de left early Monday morning - we're sure it took them a few days to recover from our fast-paced lifestyle with three BUSY children. 

It was a wonderful visit!!!

Easter & Baptism Part II: Annelise's Testimony

Annelise Marie’s Baptism Choice

I first invited Jesus into my heart when I was eight. I remember, eyes tightly shut, white knuckles clasped in prayer, repeating that I knew that Jesus died on the Cross for my sins and that through a relationship with him, I would experience new life. Then, innocently, I would look up at the heavens and wait for the lighting bolts to come flying into my life and a booming voice to tell me what to do. As this did not happen I assumed that I must not have been doing it "right" or that I wasn't "good" enough yet.

As time went on I continued to pray that prayer and opened myself up to the true meaning behind the words. By the time I was a young adult I had committed this to my heart and experienced a growing passion and interest in living a Christ led life. This past Christmas I was overwhelmed with the message about a God shaped hole in my life. Immediately that resonated with me and I saw how I had shoved just about every worldly achievement or material into that hole and always came up empty.

Being fairly self aware, I noticed this quiet ache in the very pit of my being that came on at the most surprising times. I would be enjoying time with friends and family or working toward a future that I thought would fulfill me and there it was again. This Christmas I knew that ache was Jesus knocking on the walls I'd built in my heart offering to fulfill my life with his purpose.

Not surprisingly every last one of my insecurities came up and over powered the quiet knock. I was afraid of what other people would think if I even checked the little box on the worship guide and put it in the offering bucket. I was afraid that people, especially my loving Christ filled family, would think, just like when I was eight, that I wasn't doing it "right" I wasn't "good" enough yet. I knew I'd continue to make mistakes and I resigned myself to "oh well you can make that choice once your done making mistakes". I realized that thought process made no sense but its amazing how persuasive insecurities can be.

That night I stayed up for hours trying to figure out why I couldn't just check the stinking box and put the paper in the bucket!  I began drafting a letter to the church and during the course of working through that letter, I wrote and rewrote my letter until it said I'm ready to be baptized in front of my church and family.  This time when I asked Jesus into my heart it started with I am not going to do everything right but I know YOU already did everything right for me. I just want to put my trust and faith and life in your hands and do my best to live for you everyday for the rest of my life.

This time I didn't wait for fireworks or my life to flip upside down overnight. I just wholly trusted that He would  be there with me. Amazingly once I gave up on the action figure hero of Jesus and just focused on loving and trusting upward, my life truly has been transformed.  I have been given strength and direction and support from every tool in His toolbox. Pain and guilt I hadn't even realize was still cutting me has  now been healed. I have been empowered to make the right choices in my life and am amazed daily as I step back and watch His plan for me unfold.

I am going to be baptized in front of my church and family, and what would have once seemed like an enormous pressure, now feels like an enormous gift and honor. I want to thank each of you for allowing me to enjoy and be encouraged by your use of God's gifts and unique talents that have been given to you. Nothing is more inspiring or humbling. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Written by: Annelise Manns

Easter Celebration & A Special Baptism

We celebrated Easter weekend with Corky, Tammy, & Annelise in Charlotte.  Lots of family gathered in their home - Patsy (Tammy's mom), Buddy (Patsy's brother), and Will (Annelise's boyfriend.)  On Sunday, Will's parents joined us for the day as we celebrated Annelise's baptism.  Since moving 12 hours from home, it has been a blessing to us to have Corky & Tammy just a few hours away.  We've been able to share Thanksgiving and Easter with them and they have always been so welcoming and wonderful.  They were also so gracious to us throughout our move to Wake Forest, having us in their home and driving over to help unpack our HUGE moving truck!  They are one of the many ways that the Lord has shown His favor and provision in our lives since stepping out in faith and moving here. As always, it was a special time together.  On Saturday, some of their friends and children came over for a delicious lunch...  And then the fun egg hunt... Tammy began the hunt with a special story teaching the children the best part of Easter! Jake, Drew, and Emily Ann quickly made friends with the children from Corky & Tammy's small group and the fun began! Easter Sunday was so special.  The best part was our time together before we went to worship.  Tender moments were shared as Annelise shared her testimony.  Powerful.  We will post her testimony soon!

Listening to Annelise share how Christ has worked in her life prepared our hearts to worship our Risen Savior.  Glory.

Annelise was baptized during the worship service.  I was reminded of my own baptism on Easter Sunday 1997.  Baptism is an outward expression of an inward decision one has made to accept Christ's free gift of salvation.  We are so thankful to have had the opportunity to be a part of Annelise's special day! 

Following the worship service, we all gathered for a DELICIOUS meal back at Corky & Tammy's home. 

Precious Memories!



Guatemala Mission Trip Photo Book

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